Transforming Fear to Joy

One of my greatest challenges in living fully present is to stand confidently in the stillness of emergence.  You know that place . . . where nothing seems to be happening . . . where it feels as though nothing is moving and you have come to a plateau or landing but cannot see or sense your next step . . . where even your inner world is quiet of inspiration . . . where all you can do is wait.

I have been in this still place before.  I know how great the learning and rewards are when I patiently allow the unfolding to occur on its own time clock.  Nonetheless, here is where detachment and surrender can evade me.  Where fear and self-doubt can bubble up and try to overwhelm me.

Today, I am working on relaxing and releasing these negative emotions while I witness my inner earthquake of destruction and wonder what it is that will be laid to waste.  I approach these uncomfortable feelings by entering into them and holding my awareness at their source location in my body.  This eases the heaviness.  And, of course, I write.  Putting my inner experience on paper allows me to understand who I am.

My poem below captures this time of plateau or landing and its requisite uncertainty and stillness.

The Landing

I am invited to land here, at the water’s edge
in this vast sea of experience.
My mind’s eye rests,
and full with the silence of emergence,
I float in the blue haze of stillness.

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I so love the sound of silence.

My inner mental life thinks, this must be joy.
So subtle.  So peaceful.

This surreal sensation, birthed
from the absence
of once-felt angst and urgency,
now accompanies uncertainty.

What is this landing?  Where is everyone?
Tho’ alone in my mind,
with the homes of those I wish for
still not inhabited, the promise
of a soulful community takes shape.

 March 2011

Can you recall a recent time of landing for yourself?  Were you able to sit in its stillness and await its unfolding?  Or instead, did you press your will to act on the event?

Picture of Author: Helen Maupin

Author: Helen Maupin

Helen is passionate about transforming fear into love — from her, for her, for all. She expresses her commitment to transformation through writing poetry, self-awareness and yoga books, co-designing organizations into adaptive enterprises and deepening her daily meditation and yoga practices.


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