Transforming Fear to Joy


Image courtesy of Toa55 FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of Toa55 FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In January, I felt within me a growing sense of impending change.  As each month unfolded, some event emerged to affirm this knowing amidst my uncertainty.  Such is the paradox of life.  Whether my body is becoming increasingly more flexible, my mind receiving exciting new information or my relationships experiencing deeper intimacy, it has become obvious that the “stars are aligning” for some greater purpose to reveal itself.


With July now upon us, that purpose is still unclear.  However, signs of change are still showing themselves, one step at a time.  As a consequence, I recently returned to gardening, with a vengeance, which over the past 20 years has been a way for me to process my inner experiences.  Deep digging in the soil proved to be a meditative practice of both patience and distillation.  As the new garden design begins to materialize off-paper into its earthly presence, so too is intuition giving way to actual experiences that will eventually self-organize me into a meaningful whole.

Until my puzzle is revealed, many questions arise not unlike those in the poem below, which I wrote some years back while undergoing a similar transition.