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Transforming Fear to Joy

Clear Seeing Unveils Confidence

by photostock freedigitalimage.net

If you have followed my blog conversations over the past two weeks, their content has ranged from self-sabotage to self-mastery via real-time dialogue between myself and “Sandy”.  This continued instalment depicts the shift into clear seeing and then confidence that occurs when one is willing to continue their self-inquiry.  For the purposes of illustrating this transformational shift, the blog is laid out in a dialogue format.  It begins with a telephone call from Sandy requesting help.

Sandy: I have just recognized a life-long pattern in which I continuously self-evaluate in my head.  I realize that whether the self-evaluation is positive or negative, neither is a good thing.  Furthermore, it’s targeted at me and everyone and everything around me.  Rather than being “in” the current experience I am having, this judgment cycle puts me “outside” looking in.  My continuous judgment is a huge contributor to my level of discontent; my general dissatisfaction with life and myself.  It does not allow room for contentment. 

I’ve been doing it my whole life, and I don’t know how to stop it.  As a hyper-vigilant child, I was always looking for things that could go wrong.  Now, I am measuring everything around me.  It’s exhausting.

This is what I have been trying to distract myself from by numbing it out with TV, food, etc.  My hypervigilance-distraction cycle is deeply embedded in my physiology, and I don’t know what to do instead.  Can you suggest something? 

Helen:  Since you know the pattern is embedded in your physiology, take your awareness into your body to locate where the sensation is located.  Maintain your awareness on the sensation until it shifts.  Then, hold your awareness on the new sensation or emotions or thoughts that arise.  In this way, you can walk your awareness back, step by step, to the source of your truth … the WHY of your continuous judgment.  It is important to suss out the source of your limiting behaviour because working only with the symptoms is not a long-term strategy for change.

Becoming aware of the limiting negative behaviour (the symptom) does begin to stop its occurrence over the short term.  However, deepening your awareness by leaning into the source or cause begins to create stillness in the body and silence in the mind.  Both capacities allow the space needed for your truth to rise from the unconscious i