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Transforming Fear to Joy

A Yoga Teaching: Be Real versus Belong

Truth rarely seems to ask the easier choice of us. Deborah Adele

In her book, The Yamas and Niyamas: Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice, Adele writes about the many groups we belong to throughout our lifetime. As social beings, all these groups—country, culture, gender, class, age, race, religion, workplace, community, family, and membership organizations—attempt to influence us via their established or silent rules and belief systems. A current example of this social influence is the changing of the guard in the United States. The new President wants what he wants, and if you did not agree, then you cannot “belong”, which resulted in many US government people losing their jobs as well as a general state of global protective mobilization.

From north of the American border, Canadians witness the uneasy choice between being real and belonging that Americans face in their daily lives. Most apparent is the silence of the more liberal news media. Although we hear via the grapevine about all kinds of upheaval in the form of street marches and anti-Trump movements, we do not see these events televised. This massive silence reminds me of the school-yard bystander reaction to a bully. Everyone is afraid to speak the truth because the bully will turn on them. Is it fair to say that Americans have forgotten what they learned about childhood bullying? Which is to say, not confronting bullying behaviour will not transform it, but merely maintain it as the status quo. As Deborah Adele reflects, “when a conflict arises between the need to belong and the need to grow, we have to make a choice.” That choice becomes one of sacrificing who we are (not being real) to maintain our belonging in the group or risking our status in the group by growing. From my personal experience, worst case scenario for the first choice is mental illness and for the second choice is excommunication. I vouch for the second choice as being the easier to recover from.

Almost 30 years ago, I used the following manifesto or “rules and belief system” to guide my meditation groups — REAL ME. As you can imagine, freely choosing to be real requires courage and commitment. I think what you read below still fully applies in our journey to becoming truthtellers.

Maximizing Possibility – R.E.A.L. M.E.

  1. RESPONSIBILITY:  “Ask and you shall receive.”  It is up to you to make your learning and comfort needs and ideas known.  Ask for what you want!
  2. EQUALITY:  On life’s journey, we are equals.  Our focus is to learn about ourselves, to create life-enriching experiences, and to share with one another.  Be yourself.  Be open.  Be co-creative. 
  3. ACTION:  Act As If It Is True, by experimenting with new behaviours.  Be all that you have ever imagined yourself to be. 
  4. LOVE:  Let go of criticism–of yourself and others.  Love yourself, then it will be easy to love others.  And, of course, love every single minute of your time uniting mind, body and spirit!
  5. MANIFESTATION:  Write things down.  Don’t let good ideas escape.  Writing empowers what you want to remember and create.  Nothing is too small to put down on paper.  Nothing is too off the wall.
  6. ENJOY:  We are all here to get the most out of every conscious moment so relax and enjoy the scenery, company and journey.  Remember that within every sophisticated grownup is disguised a fun-loving, likable, curious, sometimes scared and unsure, wonderful child, just like you.

For more yoga actions and teachings, click here. Namaste.

Picture of Author: Helen Maupin

Author: Helen Maupin

Helen is passionate about transforming fear into love — from her, for her, for all. She expresses her commitment to transformation through writing poetry, self-awareness and yoga books, co-designing organizations into adaptive enterprises and deepening her daily meditation and yoga practices.

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